In Search of Readers -

Blogging in Hiding

I started to blog when I was an undergraduate student. I sneaked into the Reference Section of the library, the quietest part of the building, to access their public computer. I already had a laptop, actually, but it was too heavy to be brought to campus every day. Plus, the internet was still very pricey back then, so I preferred to use the campus’s internet or a public computer.

Why do I say ‘I sneaked’ if it was available to the public? Well, I wanted to go alone. I don’t want anyone to know that I was writing a blog. My department was so close to the library that I would almost bump into someone I knew everywhere I went, except for the Reference Section.

The Reference Section was located on the first floor of the library building. We called it ‘sessiz’, The Silent Part. The room was quite small compared to other parts of the building, but there were more librarians who were on duty. They would immediately remind you,”sessiz olun!”-- Be quiet!--if anyone made a bit of noise. Bringing a friend to the reference part would just feel uncomfortable. You would even feel bad for a whisper.

The Reference Section contains the most precious encyclopedia, journals, and books you cannot borrow–you can only read them inside the reference part or make photocopies of the pages you need to do your work. Most undergraduate students wouldn’t need anything from this Reference Section; only the ones who were currently doing research would go to this section.

Because of these two reasons, I would almost find no one who knows me here. Also, the table and the public computer were available most of the time. People rarely come here.

My first blog was a WordPress blog. I didn’t even put my name on it; I used a username very hard to spell, almost like a password; I was afraid anyone I know would find my writings there. But somehow, I felt happy when I received a comment from a stranger. So absurd, isn’t it?

Emerging From The Burrow

Years later, I joined Blogspedia Coaching. Coach Marita said (roughly), ”Why do you keep your blog for yourself? Publish it! Share it on social media! Reach more people so that your writings bring value to others.”

Honestly, clicking that ‘Share’ button on social media was kind of overwhelming. But I did it anyway.

After years of blogging and sharing it on social media, does it still feel overwhelming? Well, not really, not as bad as my first time. I still feel nervous that I am afraid I will be insulting people with what I write. Especially after all those viral cases that went unexpectedly really bad for the influencers. (Netizens, please don’t be harsh with me 🙏😭)

But here is what I learned: bloggers don’t get viral that easily. I don’t even get that many readers lately if I don’t share it on social media. People don’t get hooked easily by long-form texts; Short videos are more pleasing.

But I feel grateful if there is one or two readers interested in my blog and leave a comment. In fact, I don’t get that many. If that reader is you, thank you so much.

Who is the Audience that I Want to Help?

It is interesting that after AIs became popular, I started to chat with them. I used to use ChatGPT, but now Google’s Gemini is more handy. While most bloggers I see suggest using AI to create outlines with them, I prefer having a conversation with them for brainstorming about a topic.

One of the topics that I discussed with Gemini recently is about choosing a theme for this year’s Blogspedia challenge. Beyond choosing a theme, I finally found out about my style of blogging.

You may also have noticed that my style of writing is kind of messy. It is because I am writing while I am still in the process of thinking. I am catharsis-ing while I am writing. The result is not a well-structured essay. But rather a walk-through of my thinking.

And I am aware that not all readers are comfortable with that.

To whom do I write?

This is the question I would like to answer at the end of this post.

I mainly write to myself. I am seeking clarity as I write. I reorganize my thoughts. I solve my problems. I record my history.

But I will also be happy when someone reads this blog and gives me feedback. To be fair, it is actually the audience who helps me, not the other way around.

What is the niche of this blog? It may be hard to tell. Sometimes I write about teaching and education because I was a teacher, and I am still privately tutoring. Sometimes I write about blogging because I blog. Sometimes I write about the books that I read or people that I am inspired by. Sometimes I just share a random experience.

Maybe it is safest to say that the niche of my blog is ‘my self-exploration’. It tells about my life journey. I am still seeking my identity. This year, I am writing about my childhood. I don’t know what the main topic will be for next year. But I believe I will land somewhere someday.

Is it too egocentric? I apologize for that.

But I am also aware that there might be other people who are currently on a similar mental journey as I am. If that person is you, I would love to hear your thoughts in the comment section.

##TheCupuersIsBack #RamadanSoulJourney #BloggingAsIbadah

Note: all images in this post are AI-generated. The girl in the image is not me.

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