Nia M Wardani | A Logbook of Life Discoveries

Dear, Self! Read This When You Feel Envy

how to overcome envy

This is a personal note about feeling envy. It is set as a reminder for myself, but I also hope that people who are currently feeling envy can take lessons from this post.

DISCLAIMER: The parts in italics were originally written on April 4th, 2020. This post reflects my feelings at that moment. As now I am feeling very much okay about the situation, praise to God, alhamdulillah.

I just came across an instagram of an old friend. She told the story of her days in Japan, while she was pursuing master degree, with a baby. She told how she struggled a lot, busy days taking care of a baby also continuously catching up with deadlines, working with two huge computer screens, everyday.

Then, there comes the biggest diseases I have always had.


It might seem ridiculous to envy other's hard work. But yes I do. Hers was a life that I wanted. Studying abroad, having a baby, being researcher, having important job.

In this post, I try to criticize myself. This is my own self-healing. I hope if I can find peace with myself.


Look at yourself!

You are living a very comfortable home, in mostly nice weather, close to your family and friends, people who speak your own language.

You have met the best people, marry the best person for you. All that give you opportunity to learn more about your Deen. What is better than that? You can access any books, go to any sermons around you, ask any people with ilm. What is better than that?

You are comfortably practicing your religion. You can covers yourself with hijab, as wide as you wished. You can choose variety of halal food without thinking too much about food labels. You can pray five times a day, even more, in a comfortable room. What is better than that?

God has given you the best job in the world, being a teacher. Your friend can modify plants. You can help people modify their lives! What is better than that?

Do you know how to stop feeling envy?


Be Brave!
Make your life best!
In your own way...

Take every second to maximum...
Give your best effort to God...

He never break His promise..

Nothing burns self-love faster than envy. It makes people fall into depression or force them to do what is unthinkably bad. It blinds people from their real value, knocking their self-worth to zero. Indeed it can be very devastating.

See also: If you are struggling...

How to overcome envy

1. Focus on yourself

I remember one of my best friends said to me, “ Every person has their own track. Just focus on your track.” Yes, if you think of life as a journey to reach our destination, the one that focuses on their own track must have arrived at the destination faster than the one who keeps looking to the right and left and even goes astray from their track.
So, focus on what you do, rather than what others do.

2. Be grateful to what Allah has given

The things Allah has given us are countless. He gave us air, food, family, friends, health, etc. Say thanks to Him to everything He has given. Remember each moment, so you can be grateful.
Some people also encourage us to have a gratitude journal. Writing down our gratitude everyday will remind us that Allah’s mercy is endless. Or even better, each time we pray the daily five times prayer, we can remember and say thanks to Allah for what is given to us.

See also: Heaven is enough

3. Help the poor

Helping the poor will help us to remember that we have more than enough. People say, when you feel envy, look down to the poor. Well, that’s true, but taking action will bring you to the next level of feeling grateful.

4. Ask for Allah’s help

Allah is Our Rabb, our Sustainer. He is the one that holds our hearts and minds. You cannot always control what you feel, but He can. So ask for His help to keep our hearts away from envy in our prayers.

Do you have other suggestions to overcome envy? Feel free to write in the comment form below.

The end of the story, I met again with the friends I envied. She wrote a book about her life story and I read the book. I was so surprised that she wrote a chapter about me. What is so interesting is that she wrote she wanted to be a teacher. I AM A TEACHER! Then I realized, the moment we wanted other people’s life, there are also people that really want to live our life.

May Allah save us from doing bad things because of envy. Understand that envy will only ruin your own life, make you feel miserable. You have the choice to be happy. Let’s enjoy our own journey.
Nia M Wardani
Hi! Call me Nia. I am a former teacher with ten years of teaching experience. I left formal teaching and found my peace through private tutoring, blogging, and gardening. My mission is to help other teachers improve their lives. Let's get in touch through my Instagram @nmwardani

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  1. Sometime we forget, there're a lot gift from Allah for us. then, absolutely agree, we have to focus on our self, than think about other. Thank you for reminding

  2. Your friend can modify plants. You can help people modify their lives!
    Like this words. Allah always give us all we need not that we wanted. (bener gak nih, tulisannya wkwk)

  3. Miss Nia, thanks for your letter. I hope I will always strong to my own track. Hopefully you always live happy and good teacher.

  4. I agree with every person has their own track. If i feel envy, i will try to change my feeling to du'a "I hope, one day I can be in her position".

  5. I really agree with you, sometime makes friend with who easy to gratefull make us not really envy

  6. It seems like a very human thing. When we see the success achieved by others, we feel what we get is ordinary. In fact, many people feel that what we have now is extraordinary. Maybe even dream of many others.

    Indeed, the neighbor's grass always looks greener and fresher.

    Yet there is a struggle to make their grass look like that. And we forget what they have gone through to be in their position, we are not necessarily able to live it well.

    What we have now is the best. We just need to always be grateful for it, enjoy it, and keep trying to be better every day.

    Envy? It doesn't matter, as long as we envy our performance and good deeds. And make us excited to have the same performance and practice. Cheers to all of us.

  7. Rumput tetangga selalu terlihat lebih hijau (i don't know how to say this quote in english).

    I did feel envy when I see others have things that I want. Every time I feel envy, I have deep talk with myself. Why i envy, what i really want, and are that things really important for me.

    I just don't put my happiness in something or someone. I define my own happiness. And that really helps me to focus on myself and my life. I have my own tracks and don't need to compete with other's track.

  8. MasyaAllah. Every person has their own track. Just focus on your track. Harus ditulis gede-gede nih dan pakai kaca mata kuda biar nggak lihat kanan kiri.

  9. Terima kasih buat tulisan bagusnya. Kita kadang lupa fokus dengan tujuan dan diri kita sendiri.

  10. Terimakasih atas tulisan yang sangat bagus ini mbaa.. meskipun aku meraba2 banget bacanya.. hehehehe


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