Nia M Wardani | A Logbook of Life Discoveries

I Took A Three Months Long Break From Blogging And I Feel Grateful For It.

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What?? Wait, let me explain.

A lot of things have been going rough during the last three months, and I felt rather put away my blog to the last priority. My last post was in August, although I still read some posts from here and there. I feel a bit guilty for that, but there are things I absolutely need to handle first.

That is what I thought at first.

But it turns out that you cannot just spend your energy for work work and work. You need to recharge. Yes, I did get some sleep, but it doesn't make my eye bags vanish nor my head clear. I forward my stress on foods, gain weights, and end up losing more energy.

There was a time when I was just sitting there on the floor, just looking at my husband doing all the housework. My brain just didn't know what to think about housework. How do I mop the floor? How can I cook the food? How much salt should I put in the food? Which thing should I do first? Like connections cannot be established between the neurons in my head.

My stomach is constantly asking for more, but my taste buds have downgraded to understanding only the basic tastes : sweet, salty, sour, bitter. What I meant is that I want to eat a lot, but I don't have a specific craving for good food. If you ask me to describe the taste of a pizza I just ate, I would just say ,"good, salty" without the other complex flavours you can imagine when you normally eat a pizza. As if my mouth is only ordered to chew, chew, and chew. That’s all

One day, a colleague said to me,"I like seeing you when you are eating like this."

I said,"Why? Is it because I eat a lot?" She nodded. This is what is called stress, you know, a voice in my brain replied.

One afternoon, after coming from work, my husband was lying down on the floor. This is his habit when he feels tired with office work, and decides to recharge his energy. We call this grounding. He would just lie down while scrolling his phone, sometimes while talking with me about cars, which I actually don't know a lot about. After sometimes doing this, when he feels already fully recharged, he will continue working or doing the chores.

I asked my husband,"You see, you gain energy from grounding. Sleeping doesn't make my mind fresh. I even feel the anxiety of time passing while I am lying down. What do you think will gain me energy like you do?"

"Writing," he replied.

Oh, man.

You know wise people say, you understand the value of something or someone when you already lost them.

This three months blogging break made me realize something that is precious to me. How busy I was with work, I need to spare a little time for myself to heal, to recharge. One hour or two would be enough. Writing is a me-time for me. I must not lose that.

Dear, Readers. If you feel burned out, maybe you should also find your charging activity. Is it cooking? Gardening? Singing? Hanging out with friends? You should spare a little time for yourself.

Yes, the clock is ticking. You have only 24 hours a day. But constantly draining your energy to do work will not make your job easier. Spending a bit of your time daily for yourself will not cause you harm. On the other hand, draining yourself will make you dry, and you will eventually collapse.

I hope you have a good day. Don’t forget to take a break. See you in the next post.
Nia M Wardani
Hi! Call me Nia. I am a former teacher with ten years of teaching experience. I left formal teaching and found my peace through private tutoring, blogging, and gardening. My mission is to help other teachers improve their lives. Let's get in touch through my Instagram @nmwardani

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